Constellations of People
Most people who are in business would agree that personal networking is good. In fact, most people period would agree having a personal network is good. One method that has been identified for building and maintaining a network is called Gather, Ask, Do.
The Gather part is simple, but breaking the ice is usually the hardest part of getting to know people, especially brand new people. It’s helpful to have established goals and be intentional about building your personal network. It’s helpful to have an “in” such as a mutual acquaintance or mutual interest. It also helps to ask people questions about themselves (and other things they like talking about, if you happen to know what those things are). When they answer, listen; don’t just wait to talk more.
The Ask part is about getting to know someone better. The best way to do this is to ask them, “How can I help?” When making a connection is totally self-serving, it’s usually obvious to the other person and puts a bad taste in their mouth…making it about them rather than you is the key to forming a deeper connection.
For the times you want or need to ask someone for a favor, make the favor specific, make it measurable, and make it time-bound. People are a lot more likely to do you a favor when they know the limits of the favor and that it won’t lead them down an endless, impossible trail of favors. Asking someone you don’t or barely know for a favor is tough, but it also can forge a much deeper and meaningful connection with people.
Finally, the Do part is about putting the work in to cement and maintain a relationship. Follow up with people. After you have that first substantial conversation, send that person a note thanking them for their time…if the note is handwritten that’s even better…when you thank people they feel good and they remember you. If you helped them with something, follow up later and ask them how it turned out. If they helped you with something, thank them, of course. In these ways, a set of almost random people can become a fulfilling group with meaning. It takes practice and the payoff isn’t usually immediate, but if you’re willing to put the time/effort in you’ll eventually see the dividends.
Here endeth the lesson on networking.
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