The Trichotomy of Control?
Ancient Stoic philosophers such as Epictetus taught that there are two and only two types of things in this world: things we can control, and things we cannot control. We ought to focus our energies with diligence on the things we can control, and ought to learn to accept with grace the things we cannot control. We should neither worry about the things outside our control, nor dally about improving the things within our control. This teaching has come to be known as the dichotomy of control.
Sounds quite simple and appealing, doesn’t it? And indeed it has been adopted (or at least something like it has been formulated) by a wide variety of groups, from Greek philosophy to Zen Buddhism to AA to Christianity. It is an unparalleled system for setting priorities and learning how to be happy, or at least not excessively unhappy.
In the real world, though, there are gray areas in between the two types prescribed by the dichotomy of control. There are things for which, while the ultimate outcome is not our decision directly, we do have some degree of influence over the outcome and can choose whether or not to apply that influence. Here’s an example: A good-paying position opens up in a friend’s department in the company you work for. Your friend trusts your judgment and would listen to any recommendations you might have, although she is not actively seeking your input, and the ultimate hiring decision is hers alone. You know of someone who would be good for the position, knows about the opening, and needs a job…you have a choice whether to recommend this someone to your friend for hiring. You also know that your friend may not end up hiring this someone, even if you give a glowing recommendation for them, depending on who else applies for the job.
You could look at this situation either of two ways under the dichotomy of control: you could parse out the choice whether to recommend, or you could look at the hiring process as a whole. If you do the former, you should definitely recommend the someone you know, as it is within your control and the right thing to do. If you do the latter, you should not worry one bit about the position and be perfectly at peace with doing nothing, as the ultimate hiring decision is not yours to make. Which way is the right way to look at this situation? The dichotomy of control, by itself, provides little if any clarification.
This is why I propose a third category to add to the dichotomy of control: things over which you have influence but not complete control. This category is a bit more elusive to define than the two classic categories, but I submit that it captures a great number of aspects of our existence. For example, our physical health and fitness is a function of both genetics (which we certainly can’t control) and our diet and exercise habits (which we certainly can control to a degree). Since we can’t control our genetics, we should focus on diet and exercise. If we eat healthy and exercise well, we have done what we could, and should accept that the ultimate outcome (our weight/appearance) is not completely ours to control. The key is in recognizing the precise point at which our degree of control diminishes such that it isn’t worth worrying about anymore. This point can admittedly be difficult or impossible to identify.
The life advice, however many categories you see in the world, luckily remains the same: Do what you can, where and when you can, and then find a way to accept the rest.
Here endeth the lesson on the trichotomy of control.
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