As I was driving to go get breakfast, it dawned on me that I don’t need to change up my whole identity to make key, meaningful improvements that will change me. When I was younger, I would search for a pretty much new identity every few years. I was trying to make myself a better person, but what I didn’t see was that I was already a good person. I had been conditioned to hate myself and be ashamed of myself…that’s not something that goes away by wearing a different style of clothing or starting a new workout regime.
The challenge for me now is making the new choices I’ve made stick (recovery and therapy). The brain is clever and tricks itself into thinking “That problem was all in my head…I never *really* had a problem with alcohol or anything else…I just had myself convinced that I did.” This can happen even many years into sobriety. But my great success is that I already realize my core identity is a good, strong person that I will keep and care for, and never be ashamed of again.
Bike Newbie 