March 20, 2023
5:06am
I’ve been getting right around 7 hours of sleep for the past several nights. It’s making all the difference in the world for me; I’m starting to feel like myself again.
I had a dream that was a long line of people waiting for government sponsored therapy. Each person, upon reaching the front of the line, would hear, “You are special. You deserve happiness” and be sent on their way. I thought it was ironic and funny to have that visual.
12:56pm
I’m finding that I’m thinking about food less and less. Pre-recovery, I would always know at the start of each day what I’d be having for dinner that evening. Now, I still eat plenty but I just don’t think about it so much. If I’m hungry I get something to eat; if I’m not I don’t. Usually caffeine is a more pressing matter for me these days. My caffeine use is way up from pre-recovery, but most of it is tea rather than coffee. I know caffeine isn’t great for me, but it’s far better than alcohol. I will do water and caffeine (tea and coffee) the rest of my life, no problem. It’s not even a debate.
2:46pm
I should mention, too, that my muscle recovery time is so much faster than it used to be. I don’t know if that’s a function of more frequent workouts, eliminating alcohol, or some combination. All I know is I completely fried my leg muscles Saturday and am good as new today. I’m hoping the weather tomorrow is nice so that I can mountain ride…if I do it’ll be my first ride of Spring.
4:25pm
Thinking about how it helps me to talk/write with people who also have AUD, whether online or in person. I don’t really know the exact reason why it helps me, and I guess I don’t really need to know. I just know that I get a great benefit from it. It gives me confidence, validates my decision to stop, and I often get some great pointers and tips from folks. I plan to keep talking/writing with folks even if I find I don’t “need” to…hopefully I’ll help someone a fraction as much as other folks have helped me.
Bike Newbie 