Category Archives: Uncategorized

7:29amSitting in my car at the counselor’s office. I left the house early because it was snowing and I didn’t know how traffic would be. Now I’m waiting for 8:00 and time is streeeeeeettcchiiing out. I’m a little excited and relieved to be starting therapy, but mostly I feel uncomfortable and anxious because for meContinue reading “Journal Recovery, and give it a name”

As I get ready to go to my first therapy session ever, a lot of things are running through my head, and I’m doing what I can to kind of clear my head. On my blog I (usually) resist the urge to enter song lyrics, because I know their meanings and resonations are very personalContinue reading “Journal Recovery, fly on albatross”

March 7, 2023 7:50amEventually I’m going to be hanging out with friends who drink. I’m thinking about what I will say to them. I don’t care if they drink in front of me; I won’t do it. To me drinking is kind of like Elvis; I don’t own any Elvis records and I don’t listenContinue reading “Journal Recovery, killing technology”

March 6, 2023 1:57pmIt’s been a pretty busy day so this is my first chance to journal. I brought a suggestion to my second meeting of the day. It was not well received, and my first instinct was to sulk about it. But I remembered two of the four agreements, Don’t Take Anything Personally andContinue reading “Journey Recovery, and get yourself free”

March 6, 2023 4:30am I had a dream about polka dots. That’s it: just an image of black polka dots on a white background, and it was extremely comforting. The reason why might have to do with my early childhood. I remember around the age of 4 my family had a VW hatchback, and IContinue reading “Journal Recovery, have you ever seen a whale with a polka dot tail?”

March 5, 2023 I took my wife out to a movie and dinner today. It was the first all-indoor date we went on since before Covid. We had a great time and we’ll probably make it a regular thing now. The movie we saw was Cocaine Bear; we both loved it. Cocaine Bear is exactlyContinue reading “Journal Recovery, she don’t lie (potential spoilers)”

When you’re drowning in the open sea, and you have nothing/no one else to hold onto, you hang onto the one thing/someone you have for dear life. When you become aware of all the myriad other things/people surrounding you, available and ready to aid you, you can begin to let go. When you open yourContinue reading “Journal Recovery, workout epiphany #137”

March 5, 2023 7:14am I woke up this morning having slept 7.5 hours, the most sleep I’ve had in a very long time. There was beautiful music playing in my head. It wasn’t even metal. It was upbeat power pop with a female vocal, like something Avril Lavigne would sing but it wasn’t any songContinue reading “Journal Recovery, he was a skater boy”

March 4, 2023 Day 50. It should feel like some kind of landmark but every day is its own kind of landmark really. I do feel like celebrating joyously, but not because of a number. Today I brought home Roger Rabid and Jessica Rabid. They are a married couple and I made sweet, loud loveContinue reading “Journal Recovery, too young to walk too old to crawl”

March 4, 2023 11:00am It occurs to me that recovery is something like having a job in which you have to give a lot of public speaking presentations, at least for me. At first, each public presentation is excruciating and nerve-wracking, and you have to prepare extensively for each one. Awkwardness, anguish, anxiety, uncertainty, andContinue reading “Journal Recovery, Lorna Shore rocks”