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3.1.2023 5:15am Suddenly the gnawing is just…gone. This might be only temporary, but…Woohoooooo! I think I am healing!!! 7:55am I watched the Season 3 opener of The Mandalorian. It didn’t move the story much further, but was fun to watch nonetheless. It occurs to me that I know very little about love, because love wasContinue reading “Journal Recovery, tell it to the judge”

2.28.2023 1:01pm Now that I’ve gotten a taste of what quitting alcohol is like, I feel really really bad for other people. I know other people are having a much harder time than I am, and it makes me cry just to think about it. It will take me a while to build the emotionalContinue reading “Journal Recovery, how do you do”

4:00amI’m up after about 6 hours of sleep, the most I’ve had in several days. Fell asleep after crying about an hour solid last night. I feel as raw and unkempt as a rafter on Day 6 on the river. This river is pure Class V rapid, merciless, unforgiving. I know I have the kayakingContinue reading “Journal Recovery, take 5”

It dawned on me, as I was thinking of what to say for my weekly meeting, that I should be writing this shit down. I will do my best to start journaling religiously. It’s my Day 45. The poison is leaving me and I can feel it finally. By poison I don’t exactly mean alcohol…IContinue reading “Journal Recovery, X23”

The Congolese Athlete Managing Mash all day was a routine and stable job, but not without its frustrations for Belzin.  For one thing, the Mash workers at the refinery were starting to act too human, in other words, too self-preserving.  The Mash weren’t perfectly self-aware (not as far as Belzin could tell, anyway), but thatContinue reading “Belzin Cathat, Ch. 2”

Belzin Cathat Belzin Cathat opened their eyes reluctantly to the brightness of the morning sun.  It was late April in Alberta, and the mornings were rapidly arriving earlier and earlier.  They rolled out of bed, padded over to the bathroom, urinated, and put on their lonk.  There was still a little time before the commuteContinue reading “Belzin Cathat, Ch. 1 of 3”

Finale When I started this Neurocycle back in mid-October, days were a lot longer and warmer. There seemed to be less to worry about, although there was still plenty. And I was miserable. The doomscrolling I engaged in upon waking up set the tone for my every day. I would get upset or despondent andContinue reading “The Neurocycle: Day 63 of 63”

Writing a Book Writing fiction can be fun and rewarding, but it can also be frustrating if your motivation and direction fail you. Here are three basic questions to help lay foundations and establish overall sideboards. 1. Whom Are You Writing About? As humans, our stories don’t have to be about humans but our charactersContinue reading “The Neurocycle: Day 62 of 63”

Penguins When you think of penguins, chances are you picture the emperor penguin or something very similar, fishing the icy Antarctic waters or braced together against cruelly cold winds. But did you know almost all species of penguin live in temperate climates? A statistically more accurate picture of a penguin would be off the coastsContinue reading “The Neurocycle: Day 61 of 63”

Oak savanna When you think of savanna, your mind probably takes you to East Africa and imagines places such as the Serengeti Plain with lions, gazelles, baboons, and other exotic species. But did you know savannas are part of the native North American landscape? In the Pacific Northwest, where conifer forests are assumed to beContinue reading “The Neurocycle: Day 60 of 63”