Bike Newbie

I don’t have anything pithy or poignant to say just now, but I want to check in quickly. We went to the grocery store today; everyone was masked up and social distancing well. There wasn’t a crowd there at all. The store even had paper towels, bleach, and other cleaning products in stock.

Gas is between $2.25 and $2.75 per gallon in my area, depending on where it’s purchased.

I bought some more pepper plants and some cucumber plants at the store. I’m excited to get them in the garden, as they should fill my raised bed for the season. The peas and peppers already there are doing quite well.

 

Coping

Not everyone is in the exact same situation. For some, life hasn’t changed dramatically…perhaps they were retired and didn’t need to run many errands, and essentially stayed at home before. For others, life took an incredibly abrupt left turn…I’m thinking of folks with school-age children, or who got laid off from their jobs, or who traveled frequently, or some combination of these and other things. And there’s the broad category we can’t forget, who are facing especially hard challenges…health care workers, deliverers, and all those in the grocery supply chain. So I acknowledge the spectrum of experiences we are going through. That said, in a very broad sense we are all going through the same thing, the many-sided impact of COVID-19.

What I’ve seen is there are as many ways of dealing with this sudden change as there are kinds of impacts from coronavirus. While everyone is unique in how they are coping, I tend to categorize things, right or wrong, so that’s what I’m going to do here.

I see there are some for whom this whole thing really hasn’t sunk in yet. A relative of mine was expressing worry about needing to make a minor change to his vehicle registration with the DMV. When I told him all the DMV offices statewide are closed due to coronavirus, and that they are only addressing the most serious of driving needs right now remotely (letting everything else slide for the time being), it was like I was speaking some unknown language to him. It puzzled me that he wasn’t comprehending this at all, because he’s a smart, mentally sharp guy, but then it dawned on me that this is probably a subconscious defense mechanism. One way to avoid shock and uncontrollable terror is to simply not allow yourself to fully understand what is going on.

Then there are others who take the opposite approach. Not only are they fully embracing the phenomenon that is COVID-19, they are obsessed by it, gobbling up each new headline or rumor like a fix of an addictive substance. No amount of new information is enough, never mind whether it’s credible or whether it has any sort of utility in my life. It’s like, “Maybe if I reach some golden benchmark of information, then I can use it to figure out how best to go forward.” I’m not proud to say I’ve been squarely in this camp, and probably not all the way out of it yet. The problem is, while good information is great to have, in all likelihood we are never going to know everything there is to know about this virus. And not all information is good information…lots of it is misleading, irrelevant, or just plain false, and it can be tough to sort out the good from the bad. Obsession is another way for the brain to “cope”.

A different kind of obsession is when folks talk about “the day this is all over”. As if magically people across the globe are going to wake up one day, one time zone at a time, and find everything to be exactly as it was in November 2019. To these folks the light at the end of the tunnel represents a very clear black-and-white delineation between COVID-19 and Not-COVID-19. To me this is a dangerous delusion. While it’s great (and indeed necessary) to hold out hope that things will get better, the getting better will be neither sudden nor complete. The first outbreak will run its course, but there will be future outbreaks, other viruses, and a global economy alive but sidelined with illness. Instead of busting straight out of a pitch black tunnel into a blindingly-sunny June afternoon, it will be more like a sunrise on an overcast day…first there will be hints of light, shapes making themselves known from out of the shapeless murk…then the first shapes will become brighter and clearer, and other shapes will slowly appear too, and even though it’s not broad daylight at least you can walk around without fear of smacking into a tree. Not perfect, but doable. If we don’t manage our expectations now, we run the risk of being manipulated by those who promise to deliver our castles in the sky to us.

The last category I’m going to talk about here are the folks I’m going to call the downplayers and deniers. They understand what’s going on in the world, but they just aren’t getting why it’s important to stay home and save lives. Apparently they and their loved ones are not personally affected by COVID-19 and they cannot feel empathy for those who are. To them, 58,000 dead Americans (at time of writing) is just a number, and probably a made-up number so that the “lamestream media” can manipulate “real Americans”. Their way of thinking is entirely foreign to me, but I can only guess that they envision cruel, Machiavellian state governments that are itching to strangle their own economies (and thus indirectly strangle themselves) for no other reason than to show that they can. To them, it makes perfect sense that state governors would buy into whatever conspiracy is at the heart of the COVID-19 response. It makes even more sense to them that governors would jump at the chance to cripple their own economies. I can’t say why it makes sense to them, but it does, and these folks don’t like it. To them, if everyone would just wake up and take off their masks and go back to work, toting their guns if necessary (!), they’d soon discover this was all just a Lib hoax and everything would be good and clean and wholesome again. Or something like that.

I’ll admit I don’t have the answers on what the absolute truth is, or how to best cope with all of this, or the best sourdough bread recipe. I do feel that exercising patience, gratitude, learning, compassion, and our bodies is a good way to go even if not perfect. When I say “exercising” I mean pushing ourselves out of our own comfort zones a little bit, doing just a little more than the day before. I’m not perfect now and I’ll never be perfect, but that doesn’t mean I’m worthless now…it also doesn’t mean I shouldn’t grow.

Food and Drink

Being essentially quarantined means you prepare your own food a lot. Before this all started, I had thought of myself as a good cook and that we (my wife and I) ate in far more often than we ate out. Almost six weeks later, I still think of myself as a good cook, but am struggling to put some variety into our meals while balancing that need with the need to limit our number of grocery trips. Also, I’m realizing that before this all started, we actually ate out about as often as we ate in. I miss restaurants but I also like cooking. We’re doing OK overall.

A typical breakfast for me is (1) coffee, (2) a piece of fruit, usually banana or apple, and (3) sometimes oatmeal. For lunch we either have dinner leftovers or salad during one of our work breaks. Dinners are where I shine. Most of my dinners involve either fish or chicken, although I did get a ham for Easter dinner which has generated a lot of ham-and-bean-soup leftovers. My three favorite dinners to make are salmon with spicy quinoa, fish tacos, and pasta with a chicken and olive oil/butter/white wine sauce. Lately I have been placing these in heavy rotation.

Dinner is always between 6 and 7 pm, and I won’t drink any alcohol until I am cooking dinner. I’ve noticed my drinking was relatively heavy (for me) the first couple or three weeks of quarantine, and mainly consisted of beer at that time. Now I’m pretty much sticking to wine, which is more handy and cost effective thanks to a nearby family friend who works for a wine distributor.

Judging from the way that my clothes fit, we are eating quite well (but so far not TOO well…I can still wear them). As time goes by, I’m thinking about getting more adventurous with vegetarian dishes: stir fry, sweet potatoes, egg foo young and the like. Who knows, we may come out of this as pescatarian or something similar. When the weather warms up I’m hoping to make fire roasted chile peppers a few times a week.

‘Quarantine’

My understanding of the etymology of the word quarantine is that it comes from the Italian phrase for “forty days”. In Venice and other Italian ports back in the old seafaring days, when there was an outbreak the protocol was for incoming ships and crew to drop anchor in isolation for forty days, before being allowed into the harbor. This in theory would allow time for any disease they had to run its course.

In this era, things are a little different. China was first releasing reports about the virus back in December, about 120 days or 4 months ago. I have been under a stay at home order here in Oregon for roughly one-third of that time (40 days). Even though I have pretty much adapted to working from home and staying at home, and I am extremely blessed and fortunate to have an income and healthy family, still the question lingers: when? When will the stay at home be lifted?

My guess at this time is that here, we’re probably roughly halfway through the isolation phase. Certain things need to happen before the isolation stuff is over at all, like increased testing, and that will take time. Then, it will only end in small lifts, like with certain types of businesses provided they take certain precautions. Social distancing and face masks will continue to be pushed heavily. Then, assuming that cases and deaths decrease here, there will be additional lifts, like with state parks and certain recreation spots.

Here are some things that I predict won’t change much, if at all, thru this summer:

• Retirement homes will be pretty strictly locked down
• Restaurants and bars will be take-out, delivery or drive-thru only
• Movie theaters will be closed
• Gas stations will allow self-serve
• Sports events, concerts, and other large gatherings (say 200+ people) will be disallowed unless they can guarantee social distancing
• Businesses will be encouraged to put barriers and distancing guides in place
• People will be encouraged not to travel

Whatever happens, this promises to be one of the strangest summers I’ve ever seen.

The Deniers and the Apathetic

Today I gave blood, braving the viral jungle. Since I couldn’t book an appointment anywhere within Portland for weeks or months, I booked one in a smaller town several miles south of Portland (I won’t mention the name, but it rhymes with Filsonville).

The blood donation went smoothly and all the Red Cross people were masked up, armed with sanitizers till Hell wouldn’t have it, and all very nice. So I’m very thankful to the Red Cross and all their volunteers! Since I was already out and about, I thought I would do some needed grocery shopping in this small town, and chose a large chain grocery store nearby.

There were some signs posted about social distancing, and every aisle in the store had clear “One Way” signs with arrows, to prevent awkward head-to-head anti-distancing encounters in the middle of the aisle. But apart from that and about 4 other face masked people in the whole store (besides me), you would never know we were smack in the middle of the worst pandemic in modern human history. The remaining 140 people in the store had no masks. People weren’t distancing from me or others around them, despite my visibly trying to get away from them when they got too close. I saw a group of about six 50+ year old gentlemen (whom I feel safe in assuming did not live together), just standing in the middle of the produce section shooting the shit. No masks or any kind of PPE. They each could have elbowed the guys next to them without even leaning.

But it didn’t stop there. As a made my way thru the one-way aisles, more than once I had someone coming at me (the wrong way), with no intention of stopping, slowing, or changing direction to allow social distancing from me, so my only options were to (a) allow them to pass within a couple feet of me or (b) turn around and also go the wrong way, ahead of them, but at least maintain my distance.  I chose (b). There are numerous other examples of shitheadery and buffoonery, but I’ll stop there.

All of this leads me to wonder…why? Why would people who don’t appear to be clinically insane put themselves and others at so much risk unnecessarily? I can only come up with two possible answers. One is simple denial. They don’t believe this pandemic is actually happening. If they are correct, then the media has just pulled off the hugest hoax in recorded history, for which I commend them. The other is that maybe they do believe in the pandemic to an extent…but a disease that is killing hundreds of thousands of people and appears to be one of the most transmissible viruses we’ve ever seen still doesn’t justify any effort, somehow.

Whether it’s either answer, or a combination of the two, it is becoming clearer to me just how screwed we really are as a city, state, and country. Social distancing does work, but it won’t work for US because we simply aren’t doing it. All of this has added to my reluctance to leave my little bubble here.

As the days and weeks go by, it’s becoming harder and harder to remember what life was like before COVID-19. It’s also becoming easier and easier to picture a new normal. In some ways it will suck: undoubtedly the economy will suffer for a long time, shopping won’t be as quick & easy, travel especially by air won’t be a cinch, and large events like sports and concerts are probably going to change if not cease altogether for a while.

But in other ways I think our quality of life will improve. We’ve all seen auto traffic dramatically diminish, and while it will surely increase from this level in the future, it probably won’t go back to the 16-hour rush hour levels we saw in 2019, which is a good thing. Many cities are dedicating streets to non-motorized use so that people can social distance properly, and hopefully this proves to be worthwhile and catches on in more cities and towns. Options for home work, home entertainment, and home education have already multiplied, and this will likely continue. Air, water, and land will be cleaner.

Back to the dark side of things, some people are already getting impatient and frustrated, and a few are staging protests saying that their state or city should be “liberated”. They seem to believe that by ignoring the virus and its already-devastating effects, things will just sort of magically return to 2019 conditions. They don’t see that the world has changed irreversibly, and that even if everyone were suddenly free to go or gather wherever they wished, that alone would do little to revive the economy. These people are desperate to feel “normal” again, to turn back the clock and pretend none of this happened. They don’t see that no amount of “liberation” will accomplish this.

In contrast, what quarantine and social distancing are in fact accomplishing are the saving of human lives. This is difficult to show or prove conclusively, since you can’t know for each individual whether that person would have caught the virus and died without sheltering in place. Indeed, the trouble with social distancing measures is that when they are working, nothing happens, leading some to believe it is all an overreaction. But collectively, we know through scientific proof that social distancing saves thousands of not millions of lives (we just don’t know exactly which lives, and that really shouldn’t matter).

I’m all about freedom, and I can’t wait for our society to recover from this. But if you advocate for action that needlessly puts thousands or millions at risk, undoing the heroic efforts of our front line health workers, you can count me out.

 

Melancholy

Wednesday, April 15, was the first day I have felt a sense of melancholy or overwhelming negativity since this all began. This is actually good news for me, since I tend to lean a bit on the moody side…it’s surprising that it took more than a month for strong negative emotions to creep in. I’m OK now, but I can see how quickly these dark feelings can spiral into hopelessness, despair and depression. The biggest things for me to remember are:

Focus on the things I can control, not on what I can’t. There are lots of things I can still control: how I spend the little money I have, what I read, what I write, how & when I exercise, what foods I buy & prepare, when I go to bed, etc. These are things to focus on. The overall situation in the world, while good to be informed of, is not something to dwell on all day long.

Get some exercise, especially cardio. Studies show repeatedly that cardio improves blood flow and oxygen to the brain, releases natural hormones that are associated with feeling good and thinking positive thoughts, and releases natural painkillers for the body. I often dread getting started on a workout, but just a few minutes into it I feel better, and I’ve never regretted a workout afterward.

Even though it has to be a remote chat, reach out to others in my social circles. One of the worst things, but also one of the best, about these times is that everyone is going through the same things at just about the same time. This means everyone can relate. This isn’t a time to be overly proud or standoffish, especially if others reach out to me and wish to talk (remotely, that is). This is a time for everyone to be there (remotely) for each other.

Break up difficult or complicated tasks into bite-sized chunks. With everything going on, it’s tough to focus on the big tasks for very long. It helps me tremendously to do a little at a time, and take frequent breaks so that I don’t feel crushed by the seemingly limitless mountain of work in front of me. Yes, it takes me longer to complete the work than it normally would, but I do complete it, in an abnormal circumstance.

Don’t expect to be Superman. Build in some time to just veg out or take a nap. No one really expects me to save the world or even the neighborhood. No one really expects me to metamorphose into a muscle-bound, marathon-running, best-seller-novel-writing dynamo either. So I shouldn’t burden myself with these expectations. I was better than good enough before the pandemic; I will be better than good enough coming out of it. Nothing depends on me being able to bench press 450 lbs., learn quantum physics, or finish a double century bike ride; everything depends on me being happy and healthy enough to carry on and get things done.

New ‘Normal’

Monday, April 13, was the first workday in over a month that felt even remotely normal for me. I had two meetings, which were both held by video conference. And the predominant topic of discussion was the ongoing response to the coronavirus. But still, somehow, the presence of agendas, presentations, back-and-forth discussions, and action items made it feel like a more or less normal day of work. Maybe this is the new normal for me? Who knows.

After work I went for a hilly bike ride. Since I was riding to a popular pedestrian trail, I wore my new full-face helmet. I feel it either absorbs or deflects (upward) most of my breath, and is the next best thing to wearing an actual mask while riding (which would be impossible for me as it would fog up my glasses instantly, rendering me blind). I’ve even outfitted it with a custom “mask liner” made from an old baseball cap, that I can remove from the helmet’s mask and wash.

It was a good ride, and the full-face helmet was surprisingly comfortable. It got a little warm for me on the long climb coming back home (I felt sweat rolling down the sides of my head), but was otherwise just fine. Hopefully by the time the summer temperatures hit this area, the guidance to wear masks in public will be withdrawn. Otherwise, I will need to find another mask solution (such as an actual, honest-to-goodness mask, which is currently impossible to find on the open market).

On a side note, as I was riding the pedestrian trail I couldn’t help but notice a couple of young people (guessing early 20’s) “making out” publicly just off the trail. I gathered these were kids who did not live together, but had been bf/gf from before the pandemic. Maybe none of this is true, but their relatively motionless and quiet embrace, with expressions of forlorn-ness rather than lust, made me think this. They probably had been apart and missing each other for a month, and not having their own places, couldn’t just go visit each other at home. Their behavior was obviously the opposite of social distancing, and is just the sort of thing that defeats the curve flattening we have all been working toward…but when I ask myself if I would do any differently if placed in their shoes, I don’t have an answer. I just feel blessed that I’m able to spend quarantine with my partner and best friend.

Biking

Since this is primarily a bicycle blog, I should probably write about some of the rides I’ve done recently.  They are all rides I can do from/to my house, of course, so in that sense they’re a little limited, but they are definitely better than nothing. Plus, we’ve been blessed with some amazingly nice spring weather for a week or so now.

I’ve ridden into Tigard and on the Fanno Creek Trail a few times. It’s a fun ride, and a great workout because it requires a lot of climbing especially on the way home. It doesn’t require a mountain bike, but I usually take my mountain bike anyway so that if I need to I can “social distance” off the paved trail. At first, people on the trail weren’t getting the whole social distance thing…I think they mistakenly assumed it was an indoor-only practice. And there were no masks. That has changed…I’d say about half the people outdoors are wearing masks now, and everyone is social distancing conscientiously.

Another ride I do is basically to Downtown Portland via SW Terwilliger and Barbur Blvd. It’s a fine ride, and Barbur has a decent bike lane, but save for a couple of quick glances down to the river and Ross Island, it isn’t very scenic. And there is still quite a lot of car traffic on Barbur. Also, I’ve ridden downtown so many times the novelty of the route has really worn off. Finally, there are many more people downtown and on the river trails, so social distancing becomes a challenge. This is is also true if you take Terwilliger all the way into town, as Terwilliger is an extremely popular running/walking route due to its wooded setting and relatively light car traffic. I’ve decided I’m going to limit the number of rides on this route in the near future, and to avoid entirely Willamette Greenway, Esplanade, and Springwater Corridor.

The one remaining cardinal direction I can ride is south, which takes me into Lake Oswego, West Linn, and Oregon City. I did this ride many times in the past, but I’ve only done it once since COVID-19. I happened to choose the first sunny day in quite a while (and a Saturday, not that that really matters much now) to do this ride, so most of the side streets were choked with walkers and runners, not to mention the extra motorists who seemed to be joyriding as simply something to do. In the near future I’ll probably pick rainy, cold, or otherwise unpopular days to do this route. It’s a scenic route, a great workout and there are lots of good bicycle areas…it just wears on me to be dodging people 100% of the time.

Today is Easter Sunday, and yesterday we colored eggs, which we ate this morning as deviled eggs. It was a nice distraction but it still doesn’t feel like Easter. The world is alive with animals, flowers, trees (and tree pollen in great yellow clouds), etc., which I love, but a holiday doesn’t feel any different from other days. Before, a holiday was a great time for everything to slow down, for people to catch their breath, and to talk/be with friends and family. Nowadays, that’s kind of happening every single day, with the one difference that “being” with friends/family has to be via network…it’s not necessarily bad, but it’s a change. I can’t help but wonder if Memorial Day, the 4th of July (and Labor Day?? God forbid!) will feel the same way.

Sprouts

Wednesday April 8 was exciting, as the sugar snap peas I’d planted weeks before finally popped above the dirt level in my raised bed garden. The temperature got up to 72 degrees F, and it was sunny all day. Meanwhile, the chile peppers I started in a mini greenhouse box have also begun sprouting. I’ve moved them outside for the purposes of (1) getting them acclimated to the outdoor temperature fluctuations and (2) taking maximum benefit from the warm sunshine.

I worked in the community garden for a couple hours, moving wood chips and spreading them for walkways. I feel thoroughly beat up now, but in a good way. Just getting outside in nice weather and doing something, even alone, feels fine.