BOREO #6: Stewart’s Root Beer

Welcome to Brews Of Root Extraction Online. This post reviews Stewart’s Root Beer (regular), a brand that’s widely available in the U.S. and usually sells for a little cheaper than most “boutique” soda brands. Stewart’s is owned by the apple/beverage giant Mott’s. I purchased a 4-pack of 12 oz glass bottles for $3.99 at a local chain grocery store.

I use five criteria that I score from 1-5 each to evaluate brews.

A. Sweetness: 5. Perfect. Not too sweet but sweet enough for sure. Stewart’s uses cane sugar and you can tell.

B. Lightbody Spices: 3. It doesn’t have a whole lot of bite, but you can definitely taste wintergreen, and there’s something else that tickles the tastebuds but I can’t identify. It could use more spice but it’s fine.

C. Heavybody Spices: 5. Rather than the usual vanilla, Stewart’s has a strong undercurrent of caramel. I don’t know if that’s toasted cane sugar or actual caramel, but I really like caramel so I enjoy it. A slight hint of anise is lurking behind the sweet flavors, too.

D. Uniqueness: 4. The caramel flavor alone is enough to give Stewart’s a high score in this category, but the unidentified sharp spice in addition to the wintergreen is also unique.

E. Mouthfeel: 5. Again, perfect. Not too syrupy and not too watery. The carbonation level is just right, matching the balanced flavors of the brew.

Total score 22/25. I didn’t expect a mass-produced root beer to score so high, but it goes to show you don’t need to pay top dollar to get a high quality brew.

BOREO #5: The original “Bulldog” Root Beer

Welcome to Brews Of Root Extraction Online. This post reviews Bulldog Root Beer, which I purchased in a 12 oz glass bottle at my local chain grocery store for $1.99. Bulldog is produced and bottled by Orca Beverage Co. in Mukilteo, WA.

I score five criteria from 1-5 to evaluate brews.

A. Sweetness: 5. Perfect. I almost gave it a 4 because it’s just a tiny bit too sweet straight from the bottle, but I always pour it in a glass with ice, so when the ice melts a little the sweetness is perfect. They use cane sugar and honey, and you can taste the difference from the corn-syrup-crap they use in most sodas nowadays.

B. Lightbody Spices: 1. This bulldog doesn’t have a bite. If you try hard, you can taste a little wintergreen in there. This is the one Achilles heel of Bulldog.

C. Heavybody Spices: 5. Plenty of vanilla and a hint of anise mingle well with the honey flavor. This gives the root beer a candylike quality, kind of like an old “root beer barrel” hard candy in liquid form.

D. Uniqueness: 4. The strong honey vanilla flavor coupled with the cane sugar gives Bulldog a unique flavor that makes me nostalgic for the old candies that only used cane sugar.

E. Mouthfeel: 3. Bulldog is rather syrupy (using cane sugar and honey, who can blame them?) but it’s also not very carbonated, which makes it feel even heavier as you’re drinking it. I prefer that feeling to a watery feeling, but more carbonation would help balance out the heavy sweet flavors.

Total score 18/25. Drink Bulldog if you don’t like “sharp” spices in your root beer, or if you love the old root beer barrel candies, or if you just want a solid old-style root beer.

BOREO #4: Olipop “Classic Root Beer”

Welcome to Brews Of Root Extraction Online. This post reviews the Classic Root Beer flavor of Olipop, a soft drink made by OLIPOP Inc. of Oakland, California. Olipop bills itself as “a new kind of soda”, and at the top of the can the root beer claims to “support digestive health”. I purchased a 12 oz can at a local chain grocery store for $2.

The interesting thing about Olipop is that, instead of sugars, syrups, chemical sweeteners and the like, they use a proprietary blend called OLISMART (evidently containing extracts of cassava, chicory, artichoke, cactus, marshmallow, calendula and kudzu) paired with a lesser amount of stevia. The root beer can claims it “combines the classic soda you know and love with prebiotics, plant fiber, and botanicals to support your microbiome and digestive health. Finally, a refreshing soda that’s actually good for you.”

But how does it taste? I use a 1-5 scoring system across five criteria to answer that question.

A. Sweetness: 2. This is the least-sweet drink I’ve reviewed so far. (It’s only 35 calories per can, and it tastes like it.) I don’t like my drinks very sweet, and I HATE overly sweet drinks, so this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But I still feel like this root beer would benefit from more sweetness to balance out the root-vegetable flavors swarming around. In addition, it has an unpleasant aftertaste, which is strange for an all-natural soft drink to have.

B. Lightbody spices: 2. There is a hint of wintergreen and very little else for bite. Given the extra-rooty flavors used (with actual roots of cassava, chicory, marshmallow, kudzu, and burdock), a little more kick from plants (such as ginger or clove) would really benefit this drink.

C. Heavybody spices: 4. Have you ever had a kid ask (or did you ask as a kid) “Does root beer really have roots in it?” With this one, there’s no need to ask; you can taste the roots. I’m halfway surprised carrot is not in the ingredients. Lots of earthy root veggies, plus marshmallow, and something that tastes like honey although honey is not a listed ingredient. Not much anise, but that’s OK given there are so many other heavy flavors.

D. Uniqueness: 5. Without going to a natural foods or other specialty store, I think you’d have a hard time finding a soft drink this unique in the USA. I don’t know how “healthy” it really is, but it certainly tastes more like a health tonic than a soda pop. (Side note: most of today’s mainstream sodas like Coke and Pepsi were originally marketed as health tonics…and tasted much different from their modern versions.)

E. Mouthfeel: 3. For all the heavy root flavors, this soda is surprisingly watery. And the carbonation is not what I’d call bright or lively, although it’s there.

Overall score: 16/25. Not the worst, but far from the best. It’s fine but I found myself really wanting to add clove and a spoon of honey to my glass. Drink if you want to feel like you’re doing great things for your digestive health, and if you don’t mind a strong aftertaste.

BOREO #3: A&W Zero Sugar Root Beer

Welcome to Brews Of Root Extraction Online. This post reviews the “Zero Sugar” variety of the godfather of root beers, A&W. The root beer made by A&W (at least the version that’s sold on draft, still in frosty glass mugs, in their restaurants) is considered by many the standard of what good root beer should be. I wanted to see if their sugar-free version passed muster. This tasting used a plastic bottle of A&W Zero Sugar purchased for $2.50 from a local chain grocery store.

I review brews using five criteria, scoring each from 1 to 5.

A. Sweetness: 4. Surprisingly for a “diet” soft drink, they got the sweetness just about right. They use aspartame, which usually either isn’t sweet enough or imparts an off-flavor. Make no mistake, there are off-flavors in this root beer, but I don’t think they’re due to the sweetener.

B. Lightbody spices: 1. There pretty much aren’t any. If I didn’t know any better and you just told me this was diet cream soda, I would believe you. In addition, there is a strange, almost soapy off-flavor somewhere in the profile.

C. Heavybody spices: 2. There is vanilla, and the slightest hint of anise (or is it fennel? or chicory? or something else of dubious origin?), but that’s it. Again, it leans pretty hard towards cream soda, with some kind of chemical taste floating around in there.

D. Uniqueness: 3. It’s a diet root beer, and not really a great one at that. But I give A&W credit for offering something that isn’t high fructose corn syrup-based.

E. Mouthfeel: 3. It’s pretty watery. There’s enough carbonation, but just enough.

Overall score: 13/25. If you’re looking for a zero sugar, sweet soda pop, this might be your jam, especially if you like cream soda. If you want good root beer, keep looking.

BOREO #2: Pelican Brewing Co. Root Beer

Welcome to Brews Of Root Extraction Online. This post reviews the “Root Beer” from Pelican Brewing Co., an Oregon-based microbrewery that has several PNW taprooms and offers some of their beers in bottles and cans at grocery stores. The root beer for this tasting was purchased on draft at a local taproom/grill ($7 for a 20 oz glass).

I review five criteria on a 1-5 scale.

A. Sweetness: 5. Not too sweet, but it’s plenty sweet. Tastes like sugar, and maybe a touch of honey.

B. Lightbody spices: 2. There is just enough bite to keep it from being syrupy, but you can just detect wintergreen. Not much else.

C. Heavybody spices: 4. Lots of both vanilla and anise in this one. Not much else, but it’s enjoyable enough.

D. Uniqueness: 2. If you gave me, blindfolded, a cup of this root beer on ice, I’d just assume you bought some generic (but good) stuff from the supermarket and poured it for me.

E. Mouthfeel: 5. Just right, which is important because this root beer tends to have a heavy syrup flavor. But the bright mouthfeel (lots of carbonation at least for the draft variety) counters the heavy taste well.

Total score: 18/25. Good, solid root beer, but for the price ($7 for a 20 oz glass) and the name (Pelican, which boasts several award-winning beers) I expected something a little more interesting.

BOREO #1: Zevia Ginger Root Beer

Welcome to Brews Of Root Extraction Online. This post is a review of the “Ginger Root Beer” from the “Zevia” brand, made by Zevia and purchased in a 12 oz. can for $6.99 (for a 6-pack) from a big-chain grocery store.

I grade on a 1-5 scale using five criteria.

A. Sweetness: 4. It’s not very sweet, which I like, but I can’t help but feel a tiny bit more sweetness would balance out some of the “edgy” botanicals in this one. As the Zevia name suggests, the drink is sweetened using stevia (and zero sugar), which gives it a pleasing and non-overpowering but unique kind of sweetness.

B. Lightbody Spices: 5. You can taste the ginger, but it definitely doesn’t overpower the other flavors. I love ginger so they could have run wild with it and it wouldn’t bother me. But the way they did it, you get a full appreciation for the wintergreen (and another astringent spice that eludes me) as well as the ginger. No bad aftertaste.

C. Heavybody Spices: 4. This drink runs kind of heavy on anise flavor, and light on vanilla (although you can taste it). As with ginger, I love anise so they could have dumped more in, but I know some people dislike it. I feel the “syrupy” botanicals do a great job of balancing out the “spicy” botanicals here.

D. Uniqueness: 4. Yes it’s root beer, but it’s not just root beer. The ginger gives it enough of a boost (without taking anything away from it) that I consider this a very unique and delicious drink.

E. Mouthfeel: 5. This drink has a perfect mouthfeel. Not too syrupy, not too watery, and the carbonation is most definitely there without slapping you in the face.

With a total score of 22/25, this is one of my favorite root brews ever, and pretty much the gold standard that other drinks should aspire to.

BOREO: The Introduction

Welcome to the part of my blog I call Brews Of Root Extraction Online (BOREO). No relation to the popular cookie, and hopefully you don’t find it a bore. This post is an introduction, explaining what, how, and why I’m choosing to review certain non-alcoholic soda drinks.

  1. What BOREO reviews. To be reviewed by BOREO, a drink must be: (A) Non-alcoholic, (B) Commercially available, (C) Carbonated, and (D) Naturally flavored by botanicals other than “cola” or fruit. This would include root beers, birch beers, sarsaparillas, and the delightful “Don’t know what this is” sodas such as Moxie.
  2. How BOREO reviews drinks. I will give each drink a 1-5 score (1 being worst, 5 being best) in the following five criteria: (A) balanced Sweetness, (B) Lightbody Spices (cinnamon, clove, wintergreen, ginger, e.g.), (C) Heavybody Spices (anise, molasses, vanilla, nutmeg e.g.), (D) Uniqueness (is this just a clone of Mug Root Beer or does it bring something new to the table), and (E) balanced Mouthfeel.
  3. Why BOREO is reviewing these drinks. I am recovering from Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD), and I’m out to prove that a person can “get snobby” about their drinks, remarking on flavor profiles and generally being a pompous windbag, with the need for alcohol.
  4. What other information BOREO will provide. If I can reasonably know, I’ll list the full name of the product, the company that makes it, whether it was bottled/canned/drafted, where it was purchased, and for what price.

Half-year goal check in

It’s not quite the halfway point of 2024, but pretty close, so I figured I’d check in with the goals I set on New Year’s:

  • Continue racking up an average of at least 100 “miles” or the calorie equivalent in bicycling per week. On Track. As of this post, I’ve ridden 2,355 miles and there have been 24 weeks in the year, putting me at 98.1 miles per week. That isn’t quite 100, but the weather is getting nicer and the days longer, so the next 3-4 months should see me surpassing the 100-mile-per-week goal consistently. Lots more rides planned!
  • Write a science fiction novel, a story map, and a non-fiction guide book. On Track. The story map is done and published. The non-fiction guide has been written and I’ll be editing it over the coming months. The science fiction book is progressing more slowly, but I have a solid concept: A pre-origin story for Lex Luthor (before/circa the time he moved to Smallville), loosely based on Superman canon.
  • Continue my sober ways. On Track. To date, I haven’t slipped, not even once. Sometimes it’s a little awkward when going out with friends who are drinking, but only mildly so, and I’m discovering my friends never drank a ton anyway.
  • Continue my plant-based ways. Adjusting. I am allowing myself to eat small amounts of beef, chicken, or cheese along with fish and plants, but these are once-a-week treats or holiday meals rather than a wholesale reversion. I’ve found that it’s easier to allow a small amount of meat or dairy now and then (and probably much healthier) than binge on lots of “faux” products to chase the same flavor/feeling.
  • Ride in at least seven charity fund-raiser rides. Lagging Behind. To date, I’ve only ridden in two (Monster Cookie Metric Century and Reach The Beach). I am signed up for one more, which means I need to find four other charity rides before October. Many charities now have “virtual” rides where you just pay an entry fee and report the miles you rode that day on your own, so I may go that route to get “up to speed”.
  • Continue blogging, journaling about anything and everything that inspires me. Adjusting. Since I no longer drink beer or wine (except the occasional non-alcoholic beer which is quite expensive), I’m focusing on root beer, particularly sugar-free or low-sugar varieties. I’m discovering there are many boutique root beers out there that are diverse and quite flavorful. My goal is now to write extensively, reviewing and ranking the root beers I’ve found out there. Stay tuned for more posts in my “BOREO” (Brews Of Root Extraction Online).
  • Additional Goal. Volunteer in some way at least once per week, more often if possible. So far I have led about a dozen bike rides for my local bicycle club, and served on its Rides Committee. I also volunteer for a local environmental organization, for which I’m interim Chair. I’m enjoying this activity and will keep looking for more opportunities to volunteer.

Goals for 2024 and beyond

Anyone who reads very much of this blog will know that 2023 was a difficult year for me. It may well have been the most difficult year of my life so far. Even so, there’s a lot to celebrate:

  • I was completely sober for all but the first two weeks of the year
  • I successfully cleaned up and sold a house (not mine…long story)
  • I rode my bike more than 1,500 miles with my local bike club, and rode at least 1,000 additional miles “non club”
  • I lost nearly 40 pounds
  • I finished and published a novella
  • I got into a weekly “habit” of completing the calorie equivalent of 100 “miles” of workouts per week
  • I cut eggs, all meat except fish, and dairy from my diet

So, given that 2023 was a year full of victories, my overall goal for 2024 is to keep racking those victories up, and where appropriate, up the ante a little.

  • Continue completing at least 100 “miles”, whether actual or the calorie equivalent, per week, totaling at least 5200 for the year.
  • Write and publish a science fiction novel, a story map, and a nonfiction guide book.
  • Continue my sober and plant-based ways.
  • Ride in at least seven charity fundraiser bike rides.
  • Continue blogging, journaling about anything and everything that inspires me.

That’s a lot, and I may not hit every single mark, but I will be better for the attempt. Happy New Year to you.

Dream Journal Upsilon: The Shoplifter

Last night I had a dream that I (1) downed a pint of some hard liquor (I never had a sense of which kind) in a Costco parking lot, (2) in my inebriated state proceeded to enter said Costco with an armload of garbage from my car (including the empty liquor bottle), and (3) left garbage in various Costco displays, and attempted to exit the store without paying for the new items I had shoved in my pockets (I don’t remember what the items were).

As luck and Costco’s inventory control would have it, I got busted for shoplifting. Interestingly there was no punishment for it; I just had to go find the store manager who happened to be a good friend of mine in real life (he is not really a Costco manager, but very interestingly he really is a hard drinker in real life), talk to him and get his blessing to walk free and leave the store.

I was very buzzed in the dream, and it felt very real to me. More fascinating than that, though, at no point in the dream did I feel any guilt, shame, or remorse for getting drunk at a Costco, nor for dumping garbage in the Costco, nor for stealing from the Costco. My overwhelming attitude during the whole dream was, “Hey, people make mistakes. I made a mistake; that just proves I’m human.”

Sometimes you need to have a ridiculous dream to be able to practice self-compassion. By the way, I woke up before I ever found my Costco manager friend.